I’m standing on the sidelines of a muddy soccer field, holding my granddaughter and watching my four-year-old grandson play. Whoever designed this place wasn’t thinking about grandparents. No bleachers, no coffee stand, and more mud than grass. But my grandson is having the time of his life, so who am I to complain?

His jersey practically reaches his knees. He and nine other preschoolers are convinced that wherever the ball goes, they should go too. No positions, very little passing, and no strategy I can find. Just ten little kids chasing one ball in a pack and having a wonderful time.

My grandson is pretty good at scoring goals. Sharing the ball? Not his strongest skill. My daughter and son-in-law spend much of the game calling out, “Pass the ball!” They’re not raising the next soccer superstar. They just want everyone to have fun and still be friends when the game ends.

After more than thirty years of developing people and building teams, I didn’t expect a lesson in leadership from ten four-year-olds in the mud. But here it is.

Not Every Ball Is Yours to Chase

Everyone wants to be where the action is. It reminds me of my early career, when I wanted to be involved in everything and prove I could do it all. Good leaders taught me that a strong team needs people who know their roles and trust one another. You don’t have to chase every ball to make an important contribution.

Pass the Ball

Every organization has a goal scorer: the star who can put the ball in the net almost every time. I’ve managed plenty of them, and I love them. But I’ve also watched talented people stall because they never learned to pass.

When a star becomes a leader, the job changes. Success isn’t how many goals you score. It’s how many goals your team scores, and how many people you help become scorers themselves. Some of my proudest moments have come from watching people I developed grow into senior leaders. Not one of them got there by keeping the ball to themselves.

Cheer the Effort, Not Just the Goal

The coach applauds when a child falls and gets back up, or tries a pass that goes absolutely nowhere. The kids light up when someone notices their effort.

Results matter, and I’ve spent my career being accountable for them. But WOW leaders know that recognizing effort, improvement and the willingness to try something new matters too. If we only celebrate the goals, we miss wonderful opportunities to develop people.

Your Team Is Watching the Sidelines

When the parents laugh and encourage, the game is fun. When they start shouting instructions, you can see the confusion on those little faces. They’re four years old, for goodness’ sake!

People take their cues from their leaders. If we’re anxious, impatient or correcting every move, our teams feel it. Even well-meaning leaders slip into a DUD habit or two under pressure. A WOW leader creates a place where people can learn, contribute and occasionally make a mistake without getting their heads bitten off.

Keep It Simple and Let Them Play

There are plenty of mistakes on this field: wrong directions, missed kicks, even the occasional goal for the other team. But the coach keeps the instructions simple and lets the children figure things out. Nobody is giving a thirty-minute presentation on soccer strategy, a lesson a few corporate meeting planners could appreciate.

Sometimes the best thing a leader can do is resist the urge to fix everything. Give a little guidance, let people try, and celebrate their progress.

What They’ll Remember

My grandson’s team wins by a rather impressive margin. The parents seem more apologetic than victorious, and the kids couldn’t care less. They want orange slices.

He probably won’t remember the score. But I hope he’ll remember having fun with his friends, being encouraged when he made a mistake, and seeing his family cheering him on.

That’s not a bad lesson for those of us who lead. Long after the numbers are forgotten, people remember who believed in them and helped them become better.

WOW in Action

1. Who on your team is chasing every ball?
2. Is your best scorer learning to pass?
3. When did you last recognize effort, not just results?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, my grandson is waving. Snack time has officially begun. After more than thirty years of leadership meetings, I’ve finally found one where everyone agrees orange slices belong on the agenda.

–Sheri Staak